


Nightingale Floor

by issen4



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Gen, Memory of sai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-06
Updated: 2006-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/issen4/pseuds/issen4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those late night Go games of Touya Kouyo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightingale Floor

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters are the creation of Hotta and Obata  
> Type/Notes: General, a hint of Akira/Hikaru. Written for May 5, Hikago Day. The game referred to here is the NetGo one between Touya Kouyo and Sai.

Hikaru woke with the name 'Sai' on his lips.

For a moment he lay unmoving, his heart racing, staring into the darkness, until his eyes adjusted, and he found himself looking at an unfamiliar ceiling. His thoughts rushed into coherence, and he sat up in alarm at once, looking to his left.

Akira was still fast asleep, his face turned slightly to one side. It did not look as though he had been roused in any way. Then again, they were both exhausted from playing Go earlier.

Hikaru breathed in relief, and reached out to tug Akira's blanket a little higher, until it reached his chin. Akira gave a little sigh, but made no other movement. Hikaru resisted the urge to touch him; he didn't want to end up waking Akira by accident.

He felt rather silly, settling back onto his futon, staring at the ceiling again. Sai… so he had dreamt of Sai again. Not one of those dreams where Sai had smiled that familiar smile and said nothing, and gave him his own fan--those dreams always made Hikaru feel as though Sai was really there, visiting him in his dreams. This was a dream where his memories about their time together flowed into his consciousness, like reflections on a river, quick and ungraspable. Hikaru bit his lip; he hadn't thought of their past for a while. It had been four years already.

His throat felt dry and scratchy as he swallowed--how long had he been muttering Sai's name? Hikaru sat up again, and pushed his blankets to one side. A drink of water sounded really good.

Luckily, Hikaru had been to the Touya residence often enough to find his way to the kitchen even in the dark. It was at the other end of the house, though; an inconvenience, particularly at this time of the night. As though that was not enough, the house itself seemed to be eerily quiet. Even in Hikaru's own suburban home, there would often be the sound of random traffic and a drunken salaryman or two stumbling home by taxi. Here there was no other sound.

Certainly peaceful, Hikaru thought to himself as he poured himself a glass of cold water from a bottle in the refrigerator. Sai would have liked it, for all his excitable ways. He drank, rinsed the glass, replaced it and walked back to Akira's room, in the dark.

There was a light.

Hikaru paused, wondering why he hadn't noticed it just now. He changed direction towards it, recognising the study as he went closer. Who could still be up? He stopped outside, and peeked through the slit between the two halves of the sliding doors.

It was Touya Kouyo, and he was sitting in front of a Go board--his usual Go board--with his eyes intent on it. So deep in thought, Hikaru thought, that he did not even notice that there was someone at the door. Hikaru assumed at first that Touya Kouyo was replaying a game, for there was a black stone on the upper right corner, 16-4. But then his sleep-muzzled mind finally noticed that the go-ke for the white stones was placed on the opposite side.

Touya Kouyo was waiting.

He was waiting for Sai, Hikaru realized. It was only the first hand, but that was the hand he had played in the NetGo game with Sai. Touya Kouyo still wanted to play with Sai. He had said as much, when Hikaru went--with Sai--to see him at the hospital. The fervency of his expression, and Sai's wordless, unexplained reluctance, all rose in Hikaru's mind again. Touya Kouyo had been one of those who found Sai through their Go.

He didn't know, Hikaru thought with a pang of sympathy. He didn't know Sai was gone. As though something propelled his limbs, Hikaru found himself pushing the doors open and entering, wanting to tell Touya Kouyo that.

Instead, he found that he couldn't speak. He had a sudden inkling of how Sai would have felt, what his eagerness would have been like. He took another step forward, then another, his feet silent, and knelt down before the Go board, opposite Touya Kouyo.

Touya Kouyo didn't look at him.

Silence seemed to surround them both, wrapping the night around them. Hikaru hesitated. Then, slowly, he reached into the go-ke. The white stones felt cold against his fingers--almost icy, like frosted breath from beyond the grave. He took one and placed it on the lower right corner: 4-16, just as Sai had played it, years ago. He waited.

Slowly, almost as though he had been expecting it, Touya Kouyo played the next hand: 5-3, on the upper left corner. Just as he had played it, years ago.

3-5, lower left corner.

5-5, black.

5-4, white.

3-3, black.

2-3, white.

It was amazing that he could still remember the hands, Hikaru thought, as a cluster built around the lower left star-point. Sai had played that game. Hikaru had been subsumed within Sai, letting the flow of the stones move him, barely conscious of placing the stones with his fingertips. And he had watched.

4-3, black.

2-5, white.

9-3, black.

Hikaru paused. He had not come to replay a game. He had come in to tell Touya Kouyo about Sai. Sai, who was gone, but could be found, nonetheless, in Hikaru’s Go.

The next white stone seemed to leap into the space between his fingertips, and he found it easy, even natural, to set it down as his hand dictated.

10-6, white.

Touya Kouyo finally looked up.

Hikaru held his breath.

Neither of them said anything, and after what seemed like hours, Touya Kouya looked down at the Go board again. There was the click of the stones from the go-ke at his side, then movement.

9-1, black.

Hikaru exhaled in a soundless, shallow breath.

The game continued. It was a mental trick, to play as Sai had played, and Hikaru could never keep it up for long when he tried it in the past. He was not seasoned enough, nor yet as brilliant, and playing like Sai made him both weary and heartsick. But this time, it was not a mental trick. It was the part of his Go that identified with Sai coming to the fore, brightening with Hikaru’s own will. It was a state of mind; it was a state of Sai.

He took the lower left territory, after a struggle. He tussled for, and lost, the upper right. He carved a portion in the centre. He thought of how Sai would have played, and in the playing, he was Sai.

The air grew warmer as they played. It took a while for Hikaru to realize that the darkness was lightening; the day was dawning. Touya Kouyo barely seemed to notice, but continued to play, his eyes filled with a terrible intelligence.

At the 207th hand, Hikaru stopped. Territories on the Go board stood out in dazzling white and black. He had surrounded what he could, and he thought he could see the end. A one-and-a-half moku’s loss, either way, but most likely his. He had tried his best, for Sai and with Sai, but he was Hikaru still. _I’m playing for Sai, but I’m not him._

He bowed his head. "I re-"

The sound of falling Go stones made him look up, and there was Touya Kouyo, throwing his stones on the Go board to signal a surrender.

Hikaru stilled as their eyes met for the first time that night… morning?

Touya Kouyo looked solemn, even wise. After long seconds, he said, "Thank you for this game, Shindou-kun."

Hikaru nodded, unable to speak. He seemed to be missing air.

"I am glad to play with Sai again."

Startled, Hikaru’s jaw fell. "But Sai-" he stopped. _But Sai is gone._

"Sai reveals himself in your Go."

Hikaru nodded dumbly. "But-"

The doors slid open. "Father, Hikaru, what are the two of you-" Akira came in. "You’ve been playing through the night," he said, looking from the Go board to the two of them.

Glad of a distraction, Hikaru tried to regain his composure. "Yeah," he said. "What are you doing up so early?" There was just the faintest hint of pink in the eastern sky.

"I woke up, and found you missing." Akira looked at his father. "You shouldn’t stay up the whole night, Father. It’s not good for your health."

"I know," Touya Kouyo said. "But it’s all right, once in a while. Go back to sleep, Akira. You too, Shindou-kun."

Hikaru hesitated. _I have to tell him._ He looked at the way Touya Kouyo’s attention turned to the Go board. _But maybe he already knows._

"Yes, Father," Akira said.

"Yeah," Hikaru said, watching Touya Kouyo. Akira was probably familiar with his father’s habits of playing Go or thinking about Sai through the night, he told himself. He was suddenly struck by the thought that both Touyas now knew about Sai, and about his link with Sai. It gave him a sudden warm feeling, to be surrounded by them. _They both know you, Sai._

"Hikaru?" Akira prompted, going to the door.

"Okay, okay!" A burst of adrenalin had him climbing up, towards Akira... "Ow!" His numbed legs sent him stumbling to the floor.

/end


End file.
